A Decision About Worry

More than 2 years ago, Jill and I went to visit our midwife for a monthly check-up.  I can't remember how far along in the pregnancy we were, but I do remember leaving the office feeling scared for the first time.  Our midwife - who was really wonderful and not at all prone to making grand statements - said to us after looking at Jill's blood work, "You know, I just want to be careful and run some more tests."  I think it had something to do with a fluid level that seemed low, but whatever it was, I do remember feeling shaken as we left the office and walked to the car.

We got to the car and just sat for a moment.  The child God had given us - whom we hadn't even met just yet - might have problems.  We let that reality sink in for a few moments.  At the very least, more tests needed to be done, and more waiting would come after that.  Waiting.  Wondering.  Worrying.

Somehow, our conversation meandered to God's power and control.  We were trying to connect God's sovereignty - His absolute, gracious, just, and firm rule over all time and creation - with our situation.  We arrived at this conclusion: starting that day, we would face thousands of opportunities to stress and freak out in the face of something our kid would face.  Did he get hurt at the playground?  Would other kids be mean to him at school?  Would he pass the class?  No matter how big or small, the stressors would come.  What we chose to do that day as husband and wife was to rely on the sovereignty of God.  We chose to lift our unborn child up to God and say, "God, you are in charge.  You belong in-charge.  We can't handle this situation, and we hold it out to you."  Instead of worry, we chose to trust - which sounds simple but isn't really - at least not for me.

That might have been one of the most Spirit-informed and blessed decisions we've ever made.  I'm sure that God will continue to refine that decision over the years.  Even today, He reminded me that my stress and anxiety over problems we've encountered lately with our house - mostly plumbing-related - fall under His sovereignty.  Now I've got a new angle to embrace God's rule and power.

God, be the ruler of my home.  Be the one who is absolutely in charge of things like water, snow, power, warmth, shade, and security.  Be in charge of our neighbors and our neighborhood.  Be in charge in my heart when all I want to do is stress out and hold on to every little thing that could be wrong.  Take charge, Lord.  I trust you.