Aunt Sue was one of the key figures
each year during these trips to Oregon.
She was my mother-in-law’s elder sister, best friend, and a wise and
trustworthy soul to all of us in the family.
Years before I came on the scene, Sue had lost her husband, Doug, to a
sudden heart attack. Doug’s passing
forever changed her life, and as a result, I met Sue in a season of her life
still marked by loss and mourning. Much
like our family’s commitment to Thanksgiving on the beach despite the weather,
Sue had the remarkable ability to push through the dark, cold grief and instead
be as loving and kind a person as I’ve ever known.
I grew to love Sue for many
reasons, but mostly because of our shared appreciation for sarcasm. Seriously – Sue could out-sarcasm any of my
comments, which is saying something. She
spent years and years as a waitress and understood people deeply, and I learned
to value her insights into relationships. When Jill and I became parents several years
ago, Sue was one of the voices of wisdom and advice we treasured the most. I remember sitting around the living room, listening
to Sue talk about her kids, about parenting with Doug (whom I really wish I’d
had the chance to meet), and about the challenges of getting older.
Sue drank hot, fresh coffee. She would only
drink hot, fresh coffee. I bet that was
part an old habit from her many years in food service. She always interspersed her conversations
with “honey” or “baby,” which was probably another hold-over from her waitress
days. I picture Sue as the beloved
waitress of the early-morning crowd - people who love good breakfast, hot
coffee, and sarcasm. She was the kind of
woman who built relationships of love and trust, rooted in simple service to
others.
Sue passed away suddenly this past
Sunday, although she had been in declining health for several years. Thankfully, two of her three daughters were
quickly surrounded by family and friends, supported by people they love and trust, just as Sue would have done for anyone in a similar
place of loss. The third
daughter, Jayme, is out of the country and will undoubtedly open her email soon
and see the message no one ever wants to see but knows one day will come.
Our families will gather in Oregon
again this year for Thanksgiving, and I truly believe that the timing for this
trip couldn’t be more perfect. Everyone
who loved Sue as only family can will be together, walk on the beach and
remember her life, cook and share meals around the table, and celebrate Sue in
a location precious to her. In other
words, it’s hard to imagine a better setting to mourn, to celebrate, and to say
goodbye.
Shalom,
Travis
Shalom,
Travis
