Love and Truth
Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. - Tim Keller
Jesus told his disciples - people whom he loved - that the truth which God entrusted to them in His Son would set them free (John 14). In order to be able to love, we must be willing to move toward truth in our relationships. This requires us, ultimately, to step back from a consumerist approach to relationships (I'm in this marriage/dating relationship/friendship/etc. to get what I want and to get out when I'm satisfied) and instead come forward with a way of relating to people that Dallas Willard described as "agape love." Willard wrote that Jesus perfectly modeled this kind of love, which is characterized by seeking the flourishing of the object (person) upon which it is directed.
I still have to slow down and think about Willard's definition when it crosses my mind. Do I live like I want other people to flourish? How about my wife? My son? Our small group? Or am I content to live with the kind of "sentimentality" Tim Keller describes? I think Keller is absolutely correct in his statement that sentimental love keeps good stuff flowing - support and affirmation - but does not (and actually cannot) seek the flourishing of the object upon which it is directed. Flourishing happens when sin is confronted and brokenness is repaired - which are tasks which Jesus came precisely to do.
A pastor friend of mine and I were talking recently, and we came to the conclusion that embracing the gospel of Jesus Christ - that people are broken and incapable of living fully in relationship with God without Jesus' saving grace - is the only thing that truly rights the wrongs in our hearts, and therefore has the power to right the wrongs of our world. The gospel is the beating heart behind any lasting change that truly matters. The gospel is love with truth, and it is the message that embraces the flaws of anyone who stumbles toward Jesus and invites them into wholeness.
Shalom,
Travis
I remember a Leadership Summit once where the question was asked (something like), "Do you 'add value' to others in your relationships?" I've always remembered that because it went beyond sentimentality, and I felt like it was something I was kind of already doing. It takes listening to the other person and acknowledging who they are... Your thoughts make me think more about this and contemplate if 'adding value' simply refers to those things we think of as "positive" input/discussion/etc., or if it includes referring to hard edges that might need some sanding down. (Not that every relationship is at that place where we are allowed to speak into another's life.) Anyway....you got me thinking.. Thanks. Good thoughts.
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