Total Identification

[The hope and the end-goal of the Christian life:] the person and gospel of Jesus Christ, living here and how, in people who are by his total identification found through the spiritual disciplines.

– Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines, p. 237

Willard’s quote about the spiritual disciplines highlights what I consider to be the key for any role in any life.  In my case, the only way I can be effective in pastoral leadership is through the spiritual disciplines – practices which connect me to Christ.  The less effective I am on a weekly or even daily basis, the more time I need to spend away from doing ministry tasks and more time alone with the Lord.  When I’m feeling lost or tired as a spouse and father, the same reaction needs to happen – back off and be with God.  And there's no way I'll ever be perfect at any discipline - perfection isn't the point.  Pursuing the One behind the discipline is the point.

I want to be someone who is constantly shaped and formed by time alone with the Father.  Jesus modeled this for all of his disciples, which includes me.  I want to totally identify with who Jesus is, what he loves, and what he desires for the world.  I’ll never be able to simply will myself into that, just like I’ll never be able to work hard enough or long enough at being a good dad and husband.  All of those roles are long-term projects under the supervision of the Holy Spirit.

This morning, I went for an early run as the sun was coming up.  It’s been a packed week already, and I know that if I don’t take time to be alone and exercise, the wheels will start to come off.  I ran through the city, remembering why exercising at 4,600 feet is so challenging.  While I ran, I listened to music, prayed, and asked God to open up my heart and mind to better hear His desires for the day. 

After my run, I came home to stretch and eat breakfast.  I tried to get into my devotional routine – reading through The Story and journaling – but I was utterly frustrated and distracted in my mind.  I just couldn’t focus on the disciplines.  Then I remembered an important lesson: you can’t force intimacy.  Spending time with Jesus wasn’t going to happen with my mind being in a hundred places, so I got up, carried out the trash right before the dump truck rolled down our alleyway, and took a shower.

Some mornings are just like that – full of distractions.  Getting up and using my body to do other things (besides trying to sit and concentrate) helped a ton.  I’ll keep in touch with Christ throughout the day through prayer, and I’ll meet with him again tomorrow morning.  He’ll be there, I’m sure.

Shalom,

Travis